OT: Customer Service Horror Stories

Mark Jones · Mar 5, 2005

Share 'em. Here's one from 2003 when I was an internet support rep for a major
US internet service provider.

Me: "Thank you for calling _______, my name is..."
User: "Fix my e-mail!"
Me: "Yessir, may I have your account num..."
User: "No, just fix my mail!"
Me: "Well... sir... to do that, I need to bring up your account..."
User: "You have all my account info right there, why do all you people think I
was born yesterday!"
Me: (sighing) "I don't sir, but to bring up your account I am required to verify..."
User: "I don't care what you are required to do, just fix my mail! Call whoever
you have to call, do whatever you have to do, just fix it! Before I go insane!"
Me: <pause>
Me: "What seems to be the problem sir?"
User: "The government has turned off my e-mail again and this is going to stop NOW!"
Me: "I'm sorry, did you say the government..."
User: "Don't mock me, dolt! Just like the last guy. Read my account notes!"
Me: "Excuse me? Look pal, I'm trying to help you here. One more insult like
that and I WILL terminate this call. Now do you want help or not?"
User: "Do I have a choice? Fine. As I've already explained in the last seventeen
million calls," (looking at his account history there is a long list of rude
calls, all escalated to supervisors), "The government has turned off my e-mail
yet again. I can't send or receive anything, it's so goddamn frustrating!
Eschelon-this, cypher-that! Why do they keep meddling in my MY private business!
All I want to do is send an email to my family..." (guy almost starts sobbing)
Me: "Well I can definately understand your dilemma... and we should be able to
fix this. Can we start some troubleshoot..."
User: "Oh no you don't! I'm not spending four more hours on the phone when the
problem isn't me! You're gonna have to call Washington, I'm telling you its the
gov... nevermind, just give me your supervisor!"

-- "Why do computer math geeks confuse Halloween with Christmas? OCT31 = DEC25."
Jim at RSTengineering

Jim Thompson · Mar 5, 2005

On Sat, 05 Mar 2005 12:57:28 -0500, Mark Jones <abuse@127.0.0.1>
wrote:

Share 'em. Here's one from 2003 when I was an internet support rep for a major
US internet service provider.

Me: "Thank you for calling _______, my name is..."
User: "Fix my e-mail!"
Me: "Yessir, may I have your account num..."
User: "No, just fix my mail!"
[snip]
User: "Oh no you don't! I'm not spending four more hours on the phone when the
problem isn't me! You're gonna have to call Washington, I'm telling you its the
gov... nevermind, just give me your supervisor!"

-- "Why do computer math geeks confuse Halloween with Christmas? OCT31 = DEC25."
Jim at RSTengineering

For every kooky customer call I can give you ten where the "support"
person was utterly clueless.

For example, on at least two occasions, cox.net has lost their western
region DNS server COMPLETELY, and wouldn't do anything about it until
the next scheduled back-up restoration, days away.

When I complained, they started thru their standard bull-shit that it
must be my machine, and did I re-boot before I called.

Likewise they've had mail servers down for hours, yet claim they have
no system problems.

That's why I think ISPs should be regulated like all other utilities,
and should have to rebate charges when they fail to provide normal
service.

...Jim Thompson
--
| James E.Thompson, P.E. | mens |
| Analog Innovations, Inc. | et |
| Analog/Mixed-Signal ASIC's and Discrete Systems | manus |
| Phoenix, Arizona Voice

480)460-2350 | |
| E-mail Address at Website Fax

Active8 · Mar 5, 2005

On Sat, 05 Mar 2005 11:07:04 -0700, Jim Thompson wrote:

On Sat, 05 Mar 2005 12:57:28 -0500, Mark Jones <abuse@127.0.0.1
wrote:

Share 'em. Here's one from 2003 when I was an internet support rep for a major
US internet service provider.

Me: "Thank you for calling _______, my name is..."
User: "Fix my e-mail!"
Me: "Yessir, may I have your account num..."
User: "No, just fix my mail!"
[snip]
User: "Oh no you don't! I'm not spending four more hours on the phone when the
problem isn't me! You're gonna have to call Washington, I'm telling you its the
gov... nevermind, just give me your supervisor!"

-- "Why do computer math geeks confuse Halloween with Christmas? OCT31 = DEC25."
Jim at RSTengineering

For every kooky customer call I can give you ten where the "support"
person was utterly clueless.

For example, on at least two occasions, cox.net has lost their western
region DNS server COMPLETELY, and wouldn't do anything about it until
the next scheduled back-up restoration, days away.

When I complained, they started thru their standard bull-shit that it
must be my machine, and did I re-boot before I called.

Likewise they've had mail servers down for hours, yet claim they have
no system problems.

That's why I think ISPs should be regulated like all other utilities,
and should have to rebate charges when they fail to provide normal
service.

IIRC, SBC has dns.indianapolis.com or .net. You can pop some domain

names into whois at samspade.org and find a DNS that works when your
normal one is down. Just put it in your network TCP/IP settings

--
Best Regards,
Mike

Active8 · Mar 5, 2005

On Sat, 05 Mar 2005 12:11:46 -0700, Jim Thompson wrote:

But how do I send E-mail via the crap ISP, when its server thinks the
address doesn't exist?

You don't. Try mollymail or whatever web-based e-mail you can find

that's not associated with those cheap-assed low-contractor-paying
Coxuckers. If it goes through you've got your guns loaded for bear,
not that that'll get you anywhere with Cox. An old partner of mine
and some other country boys suggest a 12 gauge shotgun and a dish.
Aim at the hardline. Maybe a rifle for the amps and LEs. Feed a
contractor.

I remember a woman in Chicago that kept getting bounces on mails to
a client in FL. It turned out that her client's ISP would not accept
mail from a non-secure server. Ameritech had such a POS server.
--
Best Regards,
Mike

Active8 · Mar 5, 2005

On Sat, 05 Mar 2005 19:57:41 GMT, Jonathan Kirwan wrote:

On Sat, 05 Mar 2005 12:57:28 -0500, Mark Jones <abuse@127.0.0.1> wrote:

ME: "Would you try and flip it to the other position for me?"
HER: "Oh! It's working!! Something is happening!"
...

Sometimes, I have wondered how this person ever managed to feed herself.

I asked a woman to right click on the desktop and she started
tapping her pen[cil] on the work surface.
--
Best Regards,
Mike

RST Engineering (jw) · Mar 6, 2005

You idiots that reply at the bottom of a long post without snipping DO
understand that nobody reads your stuff, don't you?\

Jim

Clarence_A · Mar 6, 2005

"RST Engineering (jw)" <jim@rstengineering.com> wrote in message
news:112l5mcng2tngd9@corp.supernews.com...

You idiots that reply at the bottom of a long post without
snipping DO
understand that nobody reads your stuff, don't you?\

Jim

They ARE about as bad as the TOP POSTERS aren't they?

Robert Baer · Mar 6, 2005

RST Engineering (jw) wrote:

You idiots that reply at the bottom of a long post without snipping DO
understand that nobody reads your stuff, don't you?\

Jim

Cut some slack; there are at least a few of us that are not stupid

and are intrested...

keith · Mar 6, 2005

On Sun, 06 Mar 2005 09:45:01 +0000, Robert Baer wrote:

Jim Thompson wrote:

On Sat, 05 Mar 2005 12:57:28 -0500, Mark Jones <abuse@127.0.0.1
wrote:

Share 'em. Here's one from 2003 when I was an internet support rep for a major
US internet service provider.

Me: "Thank you for calling _______, my name is..."
User: "Fix my e-mail!"
Me: "Yessir, may I have your account num..."
User: "No, just fix my mail!"

[snip]

User: "Oh no you don't! I'm not spending four more hours on the phone when the
problem isn't me! You're gonna have to call Washington, I'm telling you its the
gov... nevermind, just give me your supervisor!"

-- "Why do computer math geeks confuse Halloween with Christmas? OCT31 = DEC25."
Jim at RSTengineering

For every kooky customer call I can give you ten where the "support"
person was utterly clueless.

For example, on at least two occasions, cox.net has lost their western
region DNS server COMPLETELY, and wouldn't do anything about it until
the next scheduled back-up restoration, days away.

When I complained, they started thru their standard bull-shit that it
must be my machine, and did I re-boot before I called.

Likewise they've had mail servers down for hours, yet claim they have
no system problems.

That's why I think ISPs should be regulated like all other utilities,
and should have to rebate charges when they fail to provide normal
service.

...Jim Thompson
...AND the rebates must by law come out of the pocket of the CEO!

You want to give them even less of an incentive to pay?

--
Keith

Active8 · Mar 6, 2005

On Sat, 05 Mar 2005 11:07:04 -0700, Jim Thompson wrote:
<snip>

That's why I think ISPs should be regulated like all other utilities,
and should have to rebate charges when they fail to provide normal
service.

I wouldn't be surprised if that started enough class-action suits to
wreck the infrastructure. Then the gov't would have to get their
noses into it further. That's scary thought #2 for the day.

Shhh

And sorry, I misspoke. Molly Mail gets you into your ISP mail from
"anywhere in the world." I guess not all ISPs have webmail.

http://www.mollymail.com/webmail/

I like google's gmail for an alternate. You get free storage space,
too, FWIW.
--
Best Regards,
Mike

Carl D. Smith · Mar 6, 2005

On Sat, 5 Mar 2005 21:35:55 -0800, "RST Engineering \(jw\)"
<jim@rstengineering.com> wrote:

You idiots that reply at the bottom of a long post without snipping DO
understand that nobody reads your stuff, don't you?\

I read it.

m II · Mar 6, 2005

RST Engineering (jw) wrote:

You idiots that reply at the bottom of a long post without snipping DO
understand that nobody reads your stuff, don't you?\

Not deleting unneeded portions of a post is in bad form, regardless. Top
posting, however, as acknowledged by nine out ten major religions, is the work
of the Devil.

Because it makes a response hard to read
Why is top posting bad?

YES
Should I avoid Top posting?

mike

Mark Jones · Mar 6, 2005

Rene Tschaggelar wrote:

Jim Thompson wrote:

On Sat, 5 Mar 2005 13:49:48 -0500, Active8 <reply2group@ndbbm.net
wrote:

On Sat, 05 Mar 2005 11:07:04 -0700, Jim Thompson wrote:

[snip]

For example, on at least two occasions, cox.net has lost their western
region DNS server COMPLETELY, and wouldn't do anything about it until
the next scheduled back-up restoration, days away.

When I complained, they started thru their standard bull-shit that it
must be my machine, and did I re-boot before I called.

Likewise they've had mail servers down for hours, yet claim they have
no system problems.

That's why I think ISPs should be regulated like all other utilities,
and should have to rebate charges when they fail to provide normal
service.

IIRC, SBC has dns.indianapolis.com or .net. You can pop some domain
names into whois at samspade.org and find a DNS that works when your
normal one is down. Just put it in your network TCP/IP settings

But how do I send E-mail via the crap ISP, when its server thinks the
address doesn't exist?

Jim,
you need a second account, such as gmx, yahoo, whatever.
Then another DNS and youre done.

Rene

Jim, I could give you an invite to www.gmail.com - very nice free webmail with
POP3 capability.

Mark Jones · Mar 6, 2005

RST Engineering (jw) wrote:

You idiots that reply at the bottom of a long post without snipping DO
understand that nobody reads your stuff, don't you?\

Jim

I know, maybe we should start writing sentances backwards, from left to right,
bottom to top? Or maybe all browsers should just start at the bottom of the post.

JeffM · Mar 7, 2005

You idiots that reply at the bottom of a long post without snipping
DO understand that nobody reads your stuff, don't you?
Jim -- RST Engineering (jw)

Folks can pooh-pooh Google Groups (I'm read this there now),
but now that the new Beta has the - Show quoted text - thing,
I can see the whole untruncated post--and on one screen (usually)
and view the blockquoted stuff easily, if necessary.

A newsreader isn't hasn't got anything over a browser on that point.

Rich Grise · Mar 7, 2005

On Sun, 06 Mar 2005 19:39:38 -0500, Mark Jones wrote:

RST Engineering (jw) wrote:
You idiots that reply at the bottom of a long post without snipping DO
understand that nobody reads your stuff, don't you?\

Jim

I know, maybe we should start writing sentances backwards, from left to right,
^^^^^^^^^ ^^^^^^^^^^^^^

That would be a switch, wouldn't it? ?:-|

Cheers!
Rich

kstahl · Mar 7, 2005

Mark Jones wrote:

RST Engineering (jw) wrote:

You idiots that reply at the bottom of a long post without snipping DO
understand that nobody reads your stuff, don't you?\

Jim

I know, maybe we should start writing sentances backwards, from left to right,
bottom to top? Or maybe all browsers should just start at the bottom of the post.

?siht ekiL

Rich Grise · Mar 7, 2005

On Sun, 06 Mar 2005 21:55:58 -0500, kstahl wrote:

Mark Jones wrote:

RST Engineering (jw) wrote:

You idiots that reply at the bottom of a long post without snipping DO
understand that nobody reads your stuff, don't you?\

Jim

I know, maybe we should start writing sentances backwards, from left
to right,
bottom to top? Or maybe all browsers should just start at the bottom of
the post.

?siht ekiLN

..senoJ kraM ot gnidrocca ,sdrawtnorF :tfel ot thgir s'taht ,oN

!sreehC
hdiR

Rich Grise · Mar 7, 2005

On Sun, 06 Mar 2005 21:55:58 -0500, kstahl wrote:

Mark Jones wrote:

RST Engineering (jw) wrote:

You idiots that reply at the bottom of a long post without snipping DO
understand that nobody reads your stuff, don't you?\

Jim

I know, maybe we should start writing sentances backwards, from left to right,
bottom to top? Or maybe all browsers should just start at the bottom of the post.

?siht ekiL

Vs lbh ernyyl jnag gb znxr vg vapbzcerurafvoyr, whfg ebg13 rirelguvat.

Purref!
Evpu

Rich Grise · Mar 7, 2005

On Sun, 06 Mar 2005 23:34:33 -0500, kstahl wrote:

Rich Grise wrote:
On Sun, 06 Mar 2005 21:55:58 -0500, kstahl wrote:
Mark Jones wrote:
RST Engineering (jw) wrote:
You idiots that reply at the bottom of a long post without snipping DO
I know, maybe we should start writing sentances backwards, from left
?siht ekiLN
.senoJ kraM ot gnidrocca ,sdrawtnorF :tfel ot thgir s'taht ,oN
Well then what about this?

[whole bunch sdrawckab HTML snipped]

It's wrong, because this is a textual newsgroup.

Thanks,
Rich

OT: Customer Service Horror Stories

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m II

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