B
Bertie
Guest
Dear Friends,
I'm sorry for everything I've ever said and done. I call myself Bertie
now, but I've been known mostly as Sandy, Steve, John, and Michael,
but also by many, many other names. You can read everything I've
posted in Usenet, as my therapist has done, and witness my gradual,
sometimes pleasant descent into dementia. But I've recently
experienced a period of clarity in which I was shown the error of my
ways. I was wrong, and all my graffiti posting allies are wrong as
well, and I want to apologize to you good people of Usenet for wasting
technology on such childish games. I realize now that most people are
brighter, wittier, and more successful than I, and I believe that
realization holds the key to understanding my anger. My friends follow
because they are weak, spineless creatures with no clue of how to
proceed in life without structure and guidance, even from me. Sad, I
know.
For the record, let me say that as of this moment, I admit that I am
an asshole. I hope this explains much of what has happened here. The
list at the bottom of this post, which is only a partial list of the
groups I've soiled with my sickness, will give you some indication of
the depth of my illness.
This may seem like a troll, but I assure you I am sincere. I am an
asshole and so it shouldn't surprise anyone that I have acted like an
asshole, and I am sorry. I know that my friends, whose names are not
worth mentioning, will not agree, but that is only because they think
like children, and because they are assholes too. In time they will
see this.
Unfortunately, I will be sober soon, and the advice of my therapist
will not seem as reasonable to me as it is now, and so I will deny
posting this, and will overcompensate by spending the remainder of the
week binge drinking and posting like the old asshole I have always
been. But while I am still drunk, I say, forgive me please for being
such a total dick, and forgive my asshole friends as well. Can you?
A special apology from the #1 asshole goes to the good people who post
in:
alt.tv.scifi.channel, alt.sailing.asa, alt.religion.asatru,
alt.disasters.aviation, alt.pagan, soc.culture.irish,
alt.aviation.safety, microsoft.public.cn.dotnet.framework.aspnet,
alt.wisdom, hr.rec.fotografija, alt.mauritius, alt.conspiracy,
alt.activism.noise.pollution, alt.conspiracy.america-at-war,
alt.drugs.pot, alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk,
alt.aviation.roswell.wannabe.wannabe.wannabe, alt.aviation.kooks,
hr.comp.adsl, uk.rec.sailing, soc.culture.indian, alt.atheism,
hr.sci.elektronika, alt.flame, alt.religion.druid, alt.cascade,
ni.politics, soc.men, mn.general, hr.rec.samogradnja,
sci.military.naval, rec.travel.air, soc.culture.jewish, rec.skydiving,
alt.politics.bush, rec.music.hip-hop, alt.politics.bush,
sci.space.shuttle, alt.music.flamenco, sci.space.history,
sci.space.policy, news.admin.net-abuse.usenet, alt.autos.alfa-romeo,
it.hobby.satellite-tv.digitale, alt.atlanta, hr.rec.automobili,
hr.rec.ronjenje, hr.sci.elektronika, aus.aviation,
borland.public.delphi.nativeapi, hr.mag.bug, uk.politics.misc,
alt.security.alarms, comp.sys.palmtops.pilot, comp.sys.palmtops,
it.comp.lang.visual-basic, alt.music.osmonds, it.comp.macintosh,
it.comp.hardware, alt.autos.bmw, comp.lsi.cad, it.economia.borsa,
alt.www.webmaster, microsoft.public.xbox.games, uk.d-i-y,
alt.comp.periphs.videocards.ati, microsoft.public.money,
alt.games.video.nintendo.gamecube, es.charla.actualidad,
es.rec.tv.concursos, dk.fritid.bil, comp.lang.basic.visual,
es.rec.tv.misc, misc.fitness.weights, sci.med.nutrition,
alt.agriculture.fruit, sci.med.diseases.osteoporosis, alt.health,
macromedia.dreamweaver, microsoft.public.sqlserver.xml,
microsoft.public.cn.dotnet.languages.csharp, sci.life-extension,
sci.energy.hydrogen, rec.woodworking, fr.misc.droit.internet,
it.hobby.viaggi, alt.usage.english, alt.support.food-allergies,
alt.os.citrix, microsoft.public.streets-trips, chile.comp.pc,
es.rec.jardineria.bonsai, it.sport.montagna,
it.arti.musica.strumenti.chitarra, es.rec.deportes.futbol,
es.charla.sindical, es.comp.hackers
Thank you
Bertie (the asshole) Bunyip
I'm sorry for everything I've ever said and done. I call myself Bertie
now, but I've been known mostly as Sandy, Steve, John, and Michael,
but also by many, many other names. You can read everything I've
posted in Usenet, as my therapist has done, and witness my gradual,
sometimes pleasant descent into dementia. But I've recently
experienced a period of clarity in which I was shown the error of my
ways. I was wrong, and all my graffiti posting allies are wrong as
well, and I want to apologize to you good people of Usenet for wasting
technology on such childish games. I realize now that most people are
brighter, wittier, and more successful than I, and I believe that
realization holds the key to understanding my anger. My friends follow
because they are weak, spineless creatures with no clue of how to
proceed in life without structure and guidance, even from me. Sad, I
know.
For the record, let me say that as of this moment, I admit that I am
an asshole. I hope this explains much of what has happened here. The
list at the bottom of this post, which is only a partial list of the
groups I've soiled with my sickness, will give you some indication of
the depth of my illness.
This may seem like a troll, but I assure you I am sincere. I am an
asshole and so it shouldn't surprise anyone that I have acted like an
asshole, and I am sorry. I know that my friends, whose names are not
worth mentioning, will not agree, but that is only because they think
like children, and because they are assholes too. In time they will
see this.
Unfortunately, I will be sober soon, and the advice of my therapist
will not seem as reasonable to me as it is now, and so I will deny
posting this, and will overcompensate by spending the remainder of the
week binge drinking and posting like the old asshole I have always
been. But while I am still drunk, I say, forgive me please for being
such a total dick, and forgive my asshole friends as well. Can you?
A special apology from the #1 asshole goes to the good people who post
in:
alt.tv.scifi.channel, alt.sailing.asa, alt.religion.asatru,
alt.disasters.aviation, alt.pagan, soc.culture.irish,
alt.aviation.safety, microsoft.public.cn.dotnet.framework.aspnet,
alt.wisdom, hr.rec.fotografija, alt.mauritius, alt.conspiracy,
alt.activism.noise.pollution, alt.conspiracy.america-at-war,
alt.drugs.pot, alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk,
alt.aviation.roswell.wannabe.wannabe.wannabe, alt.aviation.kooks,
hr.comp.adsl, uk.rec.sailing, soc.culture.indian, alt.atheism,
hr.sci.elektronika, alt.flame, alt.religion.druid, alt.cascade,
ni.politics, soc.men, mn.general, hr.rec.samogradnja,
sci.military.naval, rec.travel.air, soc.culture.jewish, rec.skydiving,
alt.politics.bush, rec.music.hip-hop, alt.politics.bush,
sci.space.shuttle, alt.music.flamenco, sci.space.history,
sci.space.policy, news.admin.net-abuse.usenet, alt.autos.alfa-romeo,
it.hobby.satellite-tv.digitale, alt.atlanta, hr.rec.automobili,
hr.rec.ronjenje, hr.sci.elektronika, aus.aviation,
borland.public.delphi.nativeapi, hr.mag.bug, uk.politics.misc,
alt.security.alarms, comp.sys.palmtops.pilot, comp.sys.palmtops,
it.comp.lang.visual-basic, alt.music.osmonds, it.comp.macintosh,
it.comp.hardware, alt.autos.bmw, comp.lsi.cad, it.economia.borsa,
alt.www.webmaster, microsoft.public.xbox.games, uk.d-i-y,
alt.comp.periphs.videocards.ati, microsoft.public.money,
alt.games.video.nintendo.gamecube, es.charla.actualidad,
es.rec.tv.concursos, dk.fritid.bil, comp.lang.basic.visual,
es.rec.tv.misc, misc.fitness.weights, sci.med.nutrition,
alt.agriculture.fruit, sci.med.diseases.osteoporosis, alt.health,
macromedia.dreamweaver, microsoft.public.sqlserver.xml,
microsoft.public.cn.dotnet.languages.csharp, sci.life-extension,
sci.energy.hydrogen, rec.woodworking, fr.misc.droit.internet,
it.hobby.viaggi, alt.usage.english, alt.support.food-allergies,
alt.os.citrix, microsoft.public.streets-trips, chile.comp.pc,
es.rec.jardineria.bonsai, it.sport.montagna,
it.arti.musica.strumenti.chitarra, es.rec.deportes.futbol,
es.charla.sindical, es.comp.hackers
Thank you
Bertie (the asshole) Bunyip