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How to make sure your smoke detector smokes

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Unlisted
Guest

Sun Jan 27, 2019 5:45 am   



I got one of them smoke detectors, and I didn't think it worked. Most of
the time it just irritated me. I guess it didn't like my cooking because
it seemed to always get noisy when I was cooking. Once it got noisy when
i was sawing a hole in the bathroom wall to install a medicine cabinet
too. Never once did it smoke. It seemd like almost every year it started
chirping and would not stop till I changed the battery. That was really
annoying when I was trying to sleep.

Last week it started chirping again, and kept me awake all night. I did
not have another battery to make it happy either, and at 3am all the
stores were closed. Since it would not let me sleep, I finally got out
of bed, and decided to modify it so it no longer needed batteries. I cut
the cord off an old toaster and soldered the wires to the battery clips.
Then I plugged it into the closest outlet. In less than a second it
started smoking, then it caught on fire. I had to toss a bucket of water
on it to make out the fire.

Well, now I know it works. It smoked and started on fire, so I know that
it does what it's supposed to do, since the instructions said it's for
both smoke and fire. Better yet, it no longer chirps, so I wont have to
buy batteries for it anymore. Best of all, it's stays quiet when I cook
now. That makes me happy. I'm quite pleased with it, now that I know it
works properly and no longer annoys me.

bitrex
Guest

Sun Jan 27, 2019 6:45 am   



On 01/26/2019 11:07 PM, Unlisted wrote:
Quote:
I got one of them smoke detectors, and I didn't think it worked. Most of
the time it just irritated me. I guess it didn't like my cooking because
it seemed to always get noisy when I was cooking. Once it got noisy when
i was sawing a hole in the bathroom wall to install a medicine cabinet
too. Never once did it smoke. It seemd like almost every year it started
chirping and would not stop till I changed the battery. That was really
annoying when I was trying to sleep.

Last week it started chirping again, and kept me awake all night. I did
not have another battery to make it happy either, and at 3am all the
stores were closed. Since it would not let me sleep, I finally got out
of bed, and decided to modify it so it no longer needed batteries. I cut
the cord off an old toaster and soldered the wires to the battery clips.
Then I plugged it into the closest outlet. In less than a second it
started smoking, then it caught on fire. I had to toss a bucket of water
on it to make out the fire.

Well, now I know it works. It smoked and started on fire, so I know that
it does what it's supposed to do, since the instructions said it's for
both smoke and fire. Better yet, it no longer chirps, so I wont have to
buy batteries for it anymore. Best of all, it's stays quiet when I cook
now. That makes me happy. I'm quite pleased with it, now that I know it
works properly and no longer annoys me.


2/10 not a bad first troll effort but needs a good editor


Guest

Sun Jan 27, 2019 11:45 pm   



I don't have smoke detectors. Oh, that is dangerous ? Well I don't wear seat belts either. If you can't handle a little bonk on the head when you hit something you shouldn't be driving. I have a saw with no guard, it is much easier to use but when done you have to put it down upside down or the blade hits the floor. Might bend it, so be careful of that. And my table saw has no guard. You can't do shit with the guard. I'm trying to saw a 1¼" thick piece of granite to make a pipe which is less than 2" wide. You just have to get your fingers in there and do it.

My bench is ungrounded, totally. I have found it to actually be safer in some ways, if you know how to handle it. I might make some changes now that I have the 1,500 watt isolation transformer.

Smoke detectors are a pain in the ass. I'll never have one in the kitchen. I don't like my steak boiled. If I wind up renting not buying when I move the smoke detectors are the first thing to go. And I SHALL have an infrared broiler. You just can't have one of those super hot broilers around a smoke detector.

I also work on live electric. You might as well if you do residential because of shared neutrals anyway. In fact even some commercial is wired that way and people have died because of it. the only way to be really safe is to pull the meter off the side of the building.

After the fire, the contractor who did my house (I couldn't not being a licensed contractor, but I did do some of the work under them) the electrician told me to put a bag over the detector if I want to cook something good, and you didn't hear that from me.

Why don't the stupid fucks use rechargable batteries and constantly charge them when there is power ? Code here is they all have to be wired together to trigger together, so you use 14/3 which gives you hot, neutral, proper ground and signal.

I use red for signal. I don't agree but if I do work for anyone else, it is code so that is how it is. Inspectirs in Clevelend probably look at my work and say "Who did this,. Jeff _____ ?". "Yes as a matter of act". "Well no need to inspect then, but I'll give it a walk around. Same with a bricklayer I know and well, would like to make suffer for other reasons, but he was a very good brickie. The city saw his name on the permit and they just stop by and say hi. Some people they just know, we do things fucking right.

So I put in the smoke detectors and instruct the customer how to disable them. I show them how to shit them up permanently but also warn them that then they are not protected against fire, or I mean hear the alarm if there's a fire. They're on their own. It is hard to disable and enable all the time unless you got a sharp knife. The battery holder is usually designed so it will not retract or close without a battery. There is a way to push on it that takes care of that. You might need a little screwdriver. That, and unplugging the four connector plug and it is out of commission. The nice part is that the rest of them all work. I mean, there are fires in kitchens, get used to it. But the rest of them all over the place will alarm when a fire is in a bedroom or whatever.

Ha, years ago I got a DUI. so my lawyer gets me somewhat off and I have to go to this hotel for $300 to help the judge's friends and get their spiel. they told me that their smoke detectors would go off on pot but not tobacco..

I was born in the morning but... I know things. Not all that much but nought to know that to discern pot smoke from tobacco smoke is not going to be accomplished in a $40 unit. I also mentioned "I am here for drunk driving, do you really think I would bring my pot here ?". Then my friend went through the same course, same place. He was a little wilder and could afford to be because he didn't have a record like mine. He not only took his pot there, he got people down on the ground to throw him up beers. YOLO eh ? Too bad that fucker died of a heart attack, he wasn't even 50. He was the best wrench I ever had. Couldn't troubleshoot a car for shit but could replace parts with very professional results.

Enough already. I could keep this up all day, on certain days...

Rheilly Phoull
Guest

Mon Jan 28, 2019 3:45 am   



Did you enjoy the spoof Jur ?
Sounds like you and he have similar methods :-)


On 28/01/2019 6:26 am, jurb6006_at_gmail.com wrote:
Quote:
I don't have smoke detectors. Oh, that is dangerous ? Well I don't wear seat belts either. If you can't handle a little bonk on the head when you hit something you shouldn't be driving. I have a saw with no guard, it is much easier to use but when done you have to put it down upside down or the blade hits the floor. Might bend it, so be careful of that. And my table saw has no guard. You can't do shit with the guard. I'm trying to saw a 1¼" thick piece of granite to make a pipe which is less than 2" wide. You just have to get your fingers in there and do it.

My bench is ungrounded, totally. I have found it to actually be safer in some ways, if you know how to handle it. I might make some changes now that I have the 1,500 watt isolation transformer.

Smoke detectors are a pain in the ass. I'll never have one in the kitchen. I don't like my steak boiled. If I wind up renting not buying when I move the smoke detectors are the first thing to go. And I SHALL have an infrared broiler. You just can't have one of those super hot broilers around a smoke detector.

I also work on live electric. You might as well if you do residential because of shared neutrals anyway. In fact even some commercial is wired that way and people have died because of it. the only way to be really safe is to pull the meter off the side of the building.

After the fire, the contractor who did my house (I couldn't not being a licensed contractor, but I did do some of the work under them) the electrician told me to put a bag over the detector if I want to cook something good, and you didn't hear that from me.

Why don't the stupid fucks use rechargable batteries and constantly charge them when there is power ? Code here is they all have to be wired together to trigger together, so you use 14/3 which gives you hot, neutral, proper ground and signal.

I use red for signal. I don't agree but if I do work for anyone else, it is code so that is how it is. Inspectirs in Clevelend probably look at my work and say "Who did this,. Jeff _____ ?". "Yes as a matter of act". "Well no need to inspect then, but I'll give it a walk around. Same with a bricklayer I know and well, would like to make suffer for other reasons, but he was a very good brickie. The city saw his name on the permit and they just stop by and say hi. Some people they just know, we do things fucking right.

So I put in the smoke detectors and instruct the customer how to disable them. I show them how to shit them up permanently but also warn them that then they are not protected against fire, or I mean hear the alarm if there's a fire. They're on their own. It is hard to disable and enable all the time unless you got a sharp knife. The battery holder is usually designed so it will not retract or close without a battery. There is a way to push on it that takes care of that. You might need a little screwdriver. That, and unplugging the four connector plug and it is out of commission. The nice part is that the rest of them all work. I mean, there are fires in kitchens, get used to it. But the rest of them all over the place will alarm when a fire is in a bedroom or whatever.

Ha, years ago I got a DUI. so my lawyer gets me somewhat off and I have to go to this hotel for $300 to help the judge's friends and get their spiel. they told me that their smoke detectors would go off on pot but not tobacco.

I was born in the morning but... I know things. Not all that much but nought to know that to discern pot smoke from tobacco smoke is not going to be accomplished in a $40 unit. I also mentioned "I am here for drunk driving, do you really think I would bring my pot here ?". Then my friend went through the same course, same place. He was a little wilder and could afford to be because he didn't have a record like mine. He not only took his pot there, he got people down on the ground to throw him up beers. YOLO eh ? Too bad that fucker died of a heart attack, he wasn't even 50. He was the best wrench I ever had. Couldn't troubleshoot a car for shit but could replace parts with very professional results.

Enough already. I could keep this up all day, on certain days...


bitrex
Guest

Mon Jan 28, 2019 3:45 am   



On 01/27/2019 09:23 PM, Rheilly Phoull wrote:
Quote:
Did you enjoy the spoof Jur ?
Sounds like you and he have similar methods Smile


Jurb is a very post-modern poster, sometimes it's difficult to
distinguish satire from reality, and I feel like he prefers it that way.


Guest

Sat Feb 02, 2019 10:45 pm   



>"Jurb is a very post-modern poster,..."

Yeah, and so conservative I make Jim Thompson look like a bleeding heart liberal.

>"sometimes it's difficult to distinguish satire from reality, and I feel like he prefers it that way. "

Hmmm, now that you mention it... pretty cool eh ? You should read me on a REAL political forum, not OT on Usenet. I get banned by liberals sometimes. That's OK, let them sit in their logic immune ivory tower/echo chambers and watch the polls, and then watch Trump win in 2020 by a landslide. Hey, I know a member of the Ohio democrat party. He votes on who the endorse. He voted for Trump and will do so again.

You can't fight jobs at almost twice what was predicted for the last month. they predicted something like 165,000 and got like 304,000. Beat that.

Anyway, yes when possible I would like to be entertaining. For example:

I saw an ad on Craigslist the other day;

"HELP UNLOADING MOVING TRUCK".

I just couldn't resist.

"It would be much easier if you stopped it first".

So I disturbed some electrons. Fukum, they like to move anyway, in fact this time of year they go jumping all over the place. The cats are scared of us now, ZZZAP ! and we don't even have carpeting ! What is the dielectric strength of hardwood floors ? Whatever it is it does not preclude static electricity, which sometimes isn't so static...

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