Clueless customers

Thu Mar 11, 2010 6:52 am   

I need to rant...

Welcome to life in the slow lane. I got an email from a customer
asking what type of contact cleaner to use on his laptop keyboard. I
grab the phone, call, but too late. He had already sprayed contact
cleaner all over (and under) the keyboard. Instead of a few "push
hard to operate" keys, he now has a dozen inoperative keys. He
logically proclaimed that the stuff was "contact cleaner" and that his
keyboard problem was obviously a "contact" problem. Ummmm... yeah.

So, he drags the laptop to my office. I remove the keyboard and dump
it into a glass baking dish full of 90% alcohol. A bit of thrashing,
brushing, and lots of air hose blow drying, and it's working again. I
was lucky and the keytop decals didn't dissolve.

This is the same customer that has a Dell 531 desktop with the
vertically mounted CD/DVD drive. About half the time, he puts the CD
in upside-down, and then calls me wondering why it won't install or
play.

Why me?


--
Jeff Liebermann jeffl_at_cruzio.com
150 Felker St #D http://www.LearnByDestroying.com
Santa Cruz CA 95060 http://802.11junk.com
Skype: JeffLiebermann AE6KS 831-336-2558

Thu Mar 11, 2010 7:43 am   

On 3/10/2010 9:52 PM Jeff Liebermann spake thus:


Oh, that's the model they released *without* the cup holder, right?


--
You were wrong, and I'm man enough to admit it.

- a Usenet "apology"

Thu Mar 11, 2010 8:08 am   

On 11/03/2010 4:52 PM, Jeff Liebermann wrote:

You mean he's done this repeatedly?

Is he rich? I have a bridge to sell.

Sylvia.

Thu Mar 11, 2010 8:54 am   

On Wed, 10 Mar 2010 22:43:58 -0800, David Nebenzahl
<nobody_at_but.us.chickens> wrote:


The cup holder is still there. It's just mounted sideways. It works,
but doesn't hold liquids very well. However, the hole in the middle
of the cup holder makes a great salami, hot dawg, or string cheese
cutter. The real problem with vertically mounted CD/DVD drives is
that it take two hands to insert the CD. One to hold the CD on the
tray. The other to either shove in the tray or push the button. Some
skill is involved even with the little clips on the tray that are
suppose to help (but were missing on the drive included with the Dell
531). The usual result is a scratched CD disk as the tray mashes the
disk into the drive mechanics. The 531 can sorta be horizontally
mounted, but the door covering the floppy disk drive will not open
completely.

Another day in computer hell. Against my better judgment, I pickup a
customer at one of those lavish senior retirement housing projects.
Fixing the computah was easy enough (no updates for about 2 years and
remove the usual spyware). I also fixed the chair, cleaned the
printer, rewired the desk lamp, and cleaned up tangle of wires. I
also documented the accounts and associated passwords. Senior
discount applied and I leave with the check. No problems. However,
she tells all her friends at the retirement home, and the phone starts
ringing with the most amazing collection of strange questions and
problems. I'm starting to question my own sanity.

--
Jeff Liebermann jeffl_at_cruzio.com
150 Felker St #D http://www.LearnByDestroying.com
Santa Cruz CA 95060 http://802.11junk.com
Skype: JeffLiebermann AE6KS 831-336-2558

Thu Mar 11, 2010 9:11 am   

On Thu, 11 Mar 2010 18:08:04 +1100, Sylvia Else
<sylvia_at_not.at.this.address> wrote:


Yep. At least once per month. It's not really a problem. The real
problem is recovering the machine after a visit from the approx 14
year old grandbrats.


Yes, he is quite rich. He also pays me to fix various piece of
technology he buys and drags home, always without asking me if it will
work or is any good. You have to really try to find home theater
components that are mutually incompatible, but he's done it now,
twice. Last year, he dragged home a Prohance PowerMouse 100:
http://boingboing.net/2009/11/10/the-original-40-butt.html
Too bad the driver won't work with Windoze XP. His machine also lacks
a serial port. He's not a dummy. He just doesn't care about
computers and uses one only when there's no effective alternative. I
have other customers with the same mentality. They don't want to
waste any time dealing with the technology or doing battle with the
machines. They pay me to do that. For example, if they need to burn
a CD with a few files, I get the phone call and walk them through it.
When done, they immediately forget everything I tried to teach them as
they probably won't need to do it again for several months. One
customer suggested that it was futile learning how to do anything
because it all changes every few years.


--
Jeff Liebermann jeffl_at_cruzio.com
150 Felker St #D http://www.LearnByDestroying.com
Santa Cruz CA 95060 http://802.11junk.com
Skype: JeffLiebermann AE6KS 831-336-2558

Thu Mar 11, 2010 9:35 am   

Jeff Liebermann <jeffl_at_cruzio.com> wrote in message
news:uk0hp59knc6mgnd0sht0cd3q4mpr3nvfhn_at_4ax.com...


In 5 1/4 inch floppy days I managed to have one swallowed by the pc where I
worked and the initially unbelieving tech had to dismantle the m/c to
retrieve it. It had A and B drives and a very narrow gap between the two and
I'd slid the floppy in there.

Thu Mar 11, 2010 10:16 am   

"Jeff Liebermann" <jeffl_at_cruzio.com> wrote in message
news:uk0hp59knc6mgnd0sht0cd3q4mpr3nvfhn_at_4ax.com...


Nothing special about you Jeff. I've got the brothers, sisters, and friends
of all your customers, living my side of the pond ... :-)

Arfa

Thu Mar 11, 2010 11:07 am   

On Wed, 10 Mar 2010 21:52:38 -0800 Jeff Liebermann <jeffl_at_cruzio.com>
wrote in Message id: <uk0hp59knc6mgnd0sht0cd3q4mpr3nvfhn_at_4ax.com>:


Don't you get paid by the hour? I'd be billing for phone calls too... I've
never had a problem taking money from idiots.

Thu Mar 11, 2010 11:11 am   

On Thu, 11 Mar 2010 00:11:51 -0800 Jeff Liebermann <jeffl_at_cruzio.com>
wrote in Message id: <te8hp5p5tl7a6dlsvb4t49lfvqo5bumkbe_at_4ax.com>:


Sounds like my wife. Problem is, I don't get paid to help her I only
get frustrated. Honest to [deity] she still can't copy and paste items
from one application to another and she's been using a computer for at
least ten years!

Thu Mar 11, 2010 11:47 am   

In article <uk0hp59knc6mgnd0sht0cd3q4mpr3nvfhn_at_4ax.com>,
Jeff Liebermann <jeffl_at_cruzio.com> wrote:

Sounds like a nice little earner - unless you're a charity. ;-)

--
*A calendar's days are numbered*

Dave Plowman dave_at_davenoise.co.uk London SW
To e-mail, change noise into sound.

Thu Mar 11, 2010 1:19 pm   

"Jeff Liebermann" <jeffl_at_cruzio.com> wrote in message
news:uk0hp59knc6mgnd0sht0cd3q4mpr3nvfhn_at_4ax.com...


Remember the 50% rule, Jeff. Half of the population is by definition of
below average intelligence. Many of the rest get into trouble thinking they
know more than they do. (Techs never make bad assumptions, BTW). Then
there is the rest who suffer from NPA disorder ( a new diagnosis by the APA
for people Not Paying Attention who do stupid things, since you can't really
blame them for their problem...)

Leonard

Thu Mar 11, 2010 1:45 pm   

"Jeff Liebermann" <jeffl_at_cruzio.com> wrote in message
news:uk0hp59knc6mgnd0sht0cd3q4mpr3nvfhn_at_4ax.com...

My favorite story was from the TV tech at a shop I used to work at. The
tech went on a call about a TV that would not work. It was an elderly
couple and the man sat on the couch and showed the tech that the TV
would not turn on. The customer held the remote in one hand pointing
up at the ceiling and poked the power button with the other hand.
The tech explained that the remoted needed to point at the TV.
The old man was not happy, because, if he pointed it at the TV he
couldn"t see which button to push.
Mike

Thu Mar 11, 2010 2:02 pm   

On 11/03/2010 11:19 PM, Leonard Caillouet wrote:


Clearly you've never met some of the techs I've worked with...

Thu Mar 11, 2010 2:10 pm   

On Wed, 10 Mar 2010 21:52:38 -0800, Jeff Liebermann <jeffl_at_cruzio.com>
wrote:


Uh, customer? Isn't that how you make your living? I'd thank him, sell
him a new keyboard, and tell him "See you next time"... Is the glass
half empty or half full?

Thu Mar 11, 2010 4:22 pm   

On Thu, 11 Mar 2010 08:35:34 -0000, "N_Cook" <diverse_at_tcp.co.uk>
wrote:


Yep. See some of my old service horror stories at:
<http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/95q1/compnightmares.html>
The real fun was when CD's arrived, and people were cramming them into
the 5.25" floppy slot. It took some care and effort to extract them
as they were quite valuable at the time.

--
Jeff Liebermann jeffl_at_cruzio.com
150 Felker St #D http://www.LearnByDestroying.com
Santa Cruz CA 95060 http://802.11junk.com
Skype: JeffLiebermann AE6KS 831-336-2558